that's the way it is
yonge street in a blur
You’re walking down the street
You see faces you’ve never seen before
You realize
That most of them you’ll never know
And that’s the way it is
The process of saying good-bye is a long one.
I've been wandering the streets of Toronto aimlessly, without any destination. I walked simply to surround myself with the city, as if assailing my senses with its sights and sounds would somehow make this moment last forever.
Each place I pass, and each thing I do, almost breaks my heart with the knowledge that in two weeks I will never do this again. Even the everyday task of running down the subway steps feels heavy, because I know that once I reach the bottom of the stairs, another minute will have passed. Another minute of this experience gone by.
Another minute towards the end.
If it's possible for my heart to crumble into pieces at the amount of sadness I feel, it would probably be fine dust right now. Until now, I never knew it was possible to feel this much sadness. Every time the reality of leaving hits me, I feel like bawling and begging the heavens to freeze time.
The funny thing is, I don't even understand why it's this hard for me to say goodbye. It's been an extraordinary experience, but there are even more things and more people waiting for me back home. So why do I feel like this is the end?
Maybe Chasky was right in saying that just when I have everything happening the way I want it to be, I'm going to lose control again. I'm going to lose this place. I'm going to lose the people I've grown to love. I'm going to lose the person I was when I was here.
Forever.
Perhaps that's what makes it so hard. I know that when I say goodbye to this place and these people, it may be forever. The finality of it cuts sharp and deep.
But forever is a strong word, you say.
If not forever, for a long time. Even if I am lucky enough to be able to go back here, I will never regain what I have lost. The place will have changed. I will have changed. And the people who made this experience what it was may no longer be here.
Things will forever be different.
Do you believe
That with just one little smile
This whole world
Has changed a thousand times
Yet in a breeze
This whole world can be gone...
I believe that’s the way it is
--You'll Never Know, Richie Havens
You see faces you’ve never seen before
You realize
That most of them you’ll never know
And that’s the way it is
The process of saying good-bye is a long one.
I've been wandering the streets of Toronto aimlessly, without any destination. I walked simply to surround myself with the city, as if assailing my senses with its sights and sounds would somehow make this moment last forever.
Each place I pass, and each thing I do, almost breaks my heart with the knowledge that in two weeks I will never do this again. Even the everyday task of running down the subway steps feels heavy, because I know that once I reach the bottom of the stairs, another minute will have passed. Another minute of this experience gone by.
Another minute towards the end.
If it's possible for my heart to crumble into pieces at the amount of sadness I feel, it would probably be fine dust right now. Until now, I never knew it was possible to feel this much sadness. Every time the reality of leaving hits me, I feel like bawling and begging the heavens to freeze time.
The funny thing is, I don't even understand why it's this hard for me to say goodbye. It's been an extraordinary experience, but there are even more things and more people waiting for me back home. So why do I feel like this is the end?
Maybe Chasky was right in saying that just when I have everything happening the way I want it to be, I'm going to lose control again. I'm going to lose this place. I'm going to lose the people I've grown to love. I'm going to lose the person I was when I was here.
Forever.
Perhaps that's what makes it so hard. I know that when I say goodbye to this place and these people, it may be forever. The finality of it cuts sharp and deep.
But forever is a strong word, you say.
If not forever, for a long time. Even if I am lucky enough to be able to go back here, I will never regain what I have lost. The place will have changed. I will have changed. And the people who made this experience what it was may no longer be here.
Things will forever be different.
Do you believe
That with just one little smile
This whole world
Has changed a thousand times
Yet in a breeze
This whole world can be gone...
I believe that’s the way it is
--You'll Never Know, Richie Havens
on
8:54 AM
2 comments:
there is no such thing as forever :)
hay. sana!
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