wala ka sa lola ko

When I was young, I had all these children's books that depicted grandmothers as little old ladies with sweet little smiles and eyeglasses perched on the tips of their nose, carrying a basket of freshly baked cookies and knitting sweaters for their grandchildren.

I always thought I was losing out on something because my lola is nothing of that sort.

Now that I'm older, though, I've come to appreciate the fact that I have such a groovy grandmother. She's a not-so-little old lady with a sweet little smile, who calls J. Lo "Jello", has an addiction to Koreanovelas, has a crush on Marc Nelson, and encourages me to "collect and collect then select!" men.

She's been in the hospital for over a month now, bedridden due to complications with her recent surgery. Dreariness of the situation aside, visits to my lola always gives me a good laugh.

Last Sunday, my sister and I walked into her hospital room to find her talking to a nurse:

Lola: Sigurado ka ba diyan sa gamot ko? Baka mamaya masakit yan ha!
Nurse: Opo, Lola! Hindi masakit to, araw araw naman kita binibigyan nito e.
Lola: Sigurado ka ha, pag masakit yan sisipain kita!
Nurse: Okay lang, lola, basta po left leg yung gamitin niyo ha! (my lola can't move her left leg yet due to her surgery)
Lola: (thinks, then frowns) Ay ang daya mo!!!! (brandishes her fist) Susuntukin na lang kita! diyan e! When I get well... I will come back for you!

Yep, that's my grandma. Bedridden but still feisty as hell.

Now, you can't get 81-year-old lolas like that anywhere.

pop out the champagne!

So... I thought I'd come back from hibernation to greet everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

I hope 2007 was as wonderful for you as it was for me. My year wasn't quite like anything I expected -- but in the end, it was everything I needed and more. I realize I just needed a good jolt to my belief systems to get me back on track to achieving the goals that really matter to me.

2008 is just around the corner, and it promises to be as eventful as this year was! Cheers to another wonderful year!

Be safe this new year, everyone!

missing the action

On the front page of the International Herald Tribune on November 30, 2007:
Mutiny is quelled in Manila luxury hotel Filipino police officers taking cover behind an armored
personnel carrier that was used to crash upon the doors of a five-star hotel and end a mutiny.

I was in Japan when it happened.

I learned about it in the midst of our farewell dinner, while I was happily sampling glasses of champagne, sake, and green tea cheesecakes. I suppose I should have been scared or shocked, but instead I only found the news mildly amusing.

Strangely enough, the last time something like this happened in the Philippines, I had been in Toronto. I had turned on the telly to see tanks driving along Manila's streets, and soldiers walking around with machine guns. From that vantage point, Manila seemed like a terrifying place to live in.

I made a panicked call back home, only to find out that everything was normal. No one was rushing home, some people were even going out for dinner. Despite the fact that apparently tanks were patrolling the streets.

Oh, what being a Filipino can do to you.

Nothing will faze you anymore.

cold kobe nights

surreal kobe at night
[meriken park, kobe, japan]

yellow light

I miss time.

One of the things, perhaps, that made me so happy when I was living in Toronto was that I had time. Maybe it was the 9 to 5 schedule, or the late sunsets, but for a moment there, I had something I hadn't given myself in such a long while.

Time.

Nowadays I have fallen back into my normal routine. I wake up with puffy eyes complaining of lack of sleep, yet I'm ironically late for my entire day. I rush to work, downing a thermos of juice or a hastily-made sandwich with my right hand as my left haphazardly navigates my car throught the madness of traffic. On stoplights, I try to squeeze in a text message to someone at work, or prepare my parking fee so I can speed through the parking booth. I rush through the rest of my day, juggling Sametimes and meetings and emails and people who stop by my cube. I stop only for an hour to run the rest of my non-work errands and to gulp down the next meal I can catch. Most of my meals recently have been sushi because... well... I can eat it in six bites and get on with the rest of my day.

My life has become toxic, and it's out of control.

Because acceptance is the first step of recovery, I am writing that down here.

I know this lifestyle is bound to kill me -- not just because of the stress of always being in a hurry, but because I know it will make me miss out on the good things. I have always been the type of person who likes to live life slowly. I stop to watch sunsets, or to feel a breeze rippling through the air. I stay in my car long after I've parked to finish listening to a song I like. I eat my ice cream with my spoon facing downwards so I can taste the sweetness of the ice cream and feel the tingling coldness as it melts on my tongue. I take long walks so I can feel the sun warming my face, or the night wind calming my nerves. I sit on park benches for hours so I can watch everyone scurrying along while my time stands still.

Simple things, but countless moments of introspection have made me realize that it's these moments that make me happy.

I want to live my life in slow motion.

I need to live my life in slow motion, because that's what makes me feel grounded. I need to stop for the little things, no matter how strange or illogical it may seem for others. I've stopped trying to do what people expect me to do. We all have different standards and different definitions of happiness, and I have chosen to define mine in the most simple manner I can.

Because living a life miserable and unhappy is living a life unfulfilled.

I don't know where to begin, and I know I am a long way from living the quality of life I yearn for, but I know this. I need to start making time for the most important thing in my life.

Myself.

Full speed ahead for that one.

the red day

perya sa metrowalk

I have curly hair.

For the longest time, I hated it -- it was dry, frizzy, and unruly. I spent my childhood dreaming of having straight hair, but no matter how many hair products & treatments I tried, my hair just seemed to have a mind of its own.

Now that I'm older, I've learned to embrace my curly hair. Unfortunately, most salons haven't -- the minute I walk into a salon, there is always someone trying to convince me to straighten my hair. An hour or so of annoying salestalk later, they try a last attempt to convert me by insisting on blow-drying my hair straight. Which I absolutely detest. With hair as curly as mine, blow-drying my hair straight means ending up with: a) my hair pulled out of my scalp by attempts to brush out the kinks; and b) my scalp burning from the amount of time spent under the blow dryer.

So I was pleasantly surprised when I walked into the Azta Urban Salon at Metrowalk and didn't get a single comment about straightening my hair. Not only that, they actually knew how to handle curly hair -- from the wide-toothed comb they ran through my hair and the diffuser used to dry it. Hallelujah! I totally digged that squeeze bottle shampoo and the Davines hair color, too!

I walked out of that salon with a spring in my step and even more spring in my curls! :)

***

In case you haven't been to Metrowalk recently, do check out their urban take on the traditional perya. (Did you know that Metrowalk was built over what was previously the Payanig sa Pasig?) Win your girlfriend (or boyfriend) a stuffed toy by tossing coins on a table, shooting hoops, hammering all your stress away, tossing rings over bottles, and riding a bull cowboy-style. Kulang na lang cotton candy! Weee!

*Azta Urban Salon has branches at Metrowalk (2nd Level, Metrowalk Commercial Complex, Meralco Avenue, Pasig), Katipunan (2nd Level, SMRC Building, Katipunan Ave., Loyola Heights, Quezon City (in front of Miriam College)), Robinsons Metroeast (Body Senses, 4th Level, Robinsons Metroeast, Marcos Highway, Pasig) and Eastwood City (2nd Level, City Walk 2, Eastwood City, Libis (above Starbucks and A Different Bookstore)).

the best thing about travelling...

... is all the delicious food you get to bring home!


[stroopwafels from holland & coffee from germany]

going brit

Newcastle-Upon-Tyne.

It's one of those places I'd never dreamed of going to -- or, more accurately, one of those places I didn't even know existed until I started working for my company. Such a fancy name as Newcastle-Upon-Tyne had to belong up there in my schoolbooks, along with Stratford Upon Avon and other Shakespeare-y things.

But, the new year surprised me with a new team and a whirlwind trip to the UK, so I found myself on a 6-day trip (two days on an airplane, three days at work, and one day exploring the city) to that tiny city called Newcastle that sits upon the river Tyne.

It's a place where speaking English doesn't guarantee you'll understand what people are saying, you can catch a cab at the taxi rank, excuse yourself to go to the loo/toilet (why does the phrase "where are the toilets?" sound so crass in the Philippines yet so refined in Britain?) and shop at high streets.

Oh, and did I mention aisles upon aisles of Marks & Spencer food products? I had a field day choosing which sweets to buy. ;)

Such a lovely town.

caught in a moment

cupcakes and aloha

If you've been out and about the metro, then you've probably heard about the flock of new restaurants at the newly-opened Piazza @ Serendra. Being exiled to the Ortigas office has slowed down my attendance rate for new hotspots in the metro, so it took a workday in Makati for me to finally make my way to Serendra.

Being the sugarholic that I am, I immediately made a beeline for Cupcakes by Sonja. My previous experience with cupcakes being Pan-A-Cup cupcakes you could get at your nearest suking tindahan, I was curious about what these much-hyped cupcakes would taste like. The tiny shop looked like those candy shops I'd fantasized about as a child-- pink striped walls, giant peppermints hanging from the ceiling, and a display case filled with the prettiest cupcakes I'd ever seen. They have 27 kinds of cupcakes, with prices ranging from PhP48.00 for the Vanilla Sunshine to a whopping PhP130.00 for the Heavenly Pistachio and Sweet Pleasures cupcakes. I picked the prettiest cakes out of the bunch and happily walked out with six cupcakes in their dainty powder blue box.

Undeniably, all of the cupcakes looked gorgeous... but how did they taste? It was really a case of hit-and-miss. The Melt-In-Your-Mouth Flourless Chocolate Cupcake (described as "a dense Valrhona flourless chocolate with rich, velvety texture") was absolutely divine, but the rest of the cupcakes were nothing out of the ordinary. Yes, they were indeed different from the cupcakes we're used to, but then again, at PhP50-130 you could also get an equally delicious (and larger) slice of cake. Cupcakes by Sonja is worth a try, but in the end you're just paying extra to get your cake in a cup.

Up next was dinner at the Hawaiian-inspired Polu Kai Grill. I came in hoping to learn what Hawaiian food was all about, but Polu Kai's menu leaves much doubt as to whether they serve authentic Hawaiian cuisine. The menu seemed more like a fusion of American and Asian dishes than anything particularly Hawaiian, but... I've never been to Hawaii anyway so I can't really tell. :P

We had the baked oysters, the Giant Squid Steak, and the Loco Moco (basically a Salisbury Steak topped with a fried egg). I liked how tender the squid was despite how thick it was, and the grilled flavor of the Loco Moco's burger reminded me of my favorite burgers from the Utopia Cafe in Toronto.

The menu isn't as fresh and adventurous as I'd hoped it would be -- in fact, it's very simple fare, but I found it quite tasty. Prices are a bit hefty at PhP350 up for the main courses, but if you have carnivorous fantasies of sinking your teeth into inch-thick burgers and squid steaks (roar!), The Polu Kai Grill is a mighty contender.

*Cupcakes by Sonja and The Polu Kai Grill are located at the Serendra Piazza, Bonifacio Global City, Taguig.

winter wonderlands and sunsets

The rink glows a magical, icy blue. People glide through the mist, bundled up in sweaters. Suddenly, a collective murmur of excitement ripples through the crowd as snowflakes start drifting gently from the sky.

Yes, I'm still in Manila.

SM Mall of Asia's International Ice Skating Rink, to be exact.

After the bout of warm weather we'd been having recently, the cloud of fog rising from the ice was impossible to resist. I soon found myself lacing on a pair of skates, raring to join the beautiful, romantic, and otherworldly melange of people twirling on the ice. Of course, the moment I stepped on the ice, it was neither beautiful nor romantic. Otherwordly, perhaps -- I must have looked like some freak show clanging across the rink.

An hour of 'winter' and an immeasurable amount of public humiliation later, I realized I wouldn't be having any Serendipity-esque moments anytime soon (at least not until I continued to skate like a clown)... so I threw in my skates and headed over to the esplanade to watch the sun set instead. There's nothing quite like sitting on the seawall and watching the waves break across the rocks, letting the salty sea breeze run through your hair. I've always loved places where the metropolis meets nature, because of how it allows me to be near the addicting hustle and bustle of the big city, yet feel so grounded at the same time -- and the esplanade behind the Mall of Asia is a wonderful example of such a place.

I remember the last time I felt this calm and at peace with myself. I was sitting on the shores of Lake Ontario, wondering what would happen to me after I left Toronto.

I thought, then, that the end had come.

Now I know it was only the beginning.

galileo enoteca - not another italian restaurant

Not another Italian restaurant.

That was my first thought when I heard about Galileo Enoteca. I mean, there can only be so much Italian restaurants in Metro Manila -- it was starting to get too cumbersome to weed out the good places from the multitude of mediocre ones.

Galileo Enoteca, however, proved to be quite a gem.

Tucked on small side street just past the Edsa & Shaw Boulevard intersection, the enoteca looks tiny when viewed from outside. Primarily a delicatessen, you will be greeted with a chiller stocked with an exquisite assortment of meats and cheeses as you step in. It's a bit cramped in the foyer, but deeper into this brick-walled cellar are more shelves of Italian fine foods (and Baci chocolates!) and wine. Candlelight, frescos on the wall, wooden tables & benches complete the quiet, romantic atmosphere.

The menu contains the usual Italian fare, but Galileo Enoteca is set apart from most Italian restaurants in Metro Manila by their use of items sold in the deli (vs. locally sourced ingredients) for some of the dishes in the menu. I opted for a prix fixe meal for PhP400 a person. These meals change daily depending on whatever ingredients are on hand. Today, it consisted of fresh anchovies & focaccia, fresh olives, a cold cuts (prosciutto, salami, and mortadella) & cheese platter, salad drizzled with vinnaigrette (which was delicious considering I don't normally like vinaigrette), a plate of Penne Con Porcini (a cream-based pasta with Shiitake mushrooms), a glass of wine (your choice of house red, white, or sweet wine) and a cup of Molinari coffee (you can opt for tea instead) to complete your meal.

Needless to say, I was completely bowled over.

Brilliant.

*Galileo Enoteca is located at Calbayog corner Malinao St., Mandaluyong City. Reservations are recommended.

the emperor's new shoes

Ladies and gentlemen, I have discovered the cure for shopaholicism... drum roll, please... gain 10lbs!

Okay -- so weight gain isn't exactly a good thing, especially since I really should be watching out for my blood sugar. But instead of bemoaning the ten pounds I was supposed to lose but instead gained in Toronto, I'll look at the bright side and just be glad it's curbed my urge to shop.

Except for shoes, that is.

Shoes always fit, even on your fat days. Of course, it helped that they recently instituted a dress code at work, which meant 90% of my shoe rack was inappropriate, save for my tweed ballet flats, my brown boots, a pair of batterred black heels, and an even more battered pair of black boots. It was the perfect excuse to go on an obsessive hunt for the perfect pair of comfy-but-not-as-fugly-as-the-black-loafers-your-tita-wears, dress-code-worthy shoes! ;) After two failed purchases (boots + sandals that seemed to be on a quest to murder my feet), I finally found these: Lacoste's uber-comfy white loafers with papansin blue soles (otherwise known as choy shoes*). Yay! They're so preppy, I feel like I should be sailing a yacht somewhere! And for once my feet don't feel like they're being tortured! I llaaaahhhv it! I will use them forever and ever and ever!

*choy shoes (choy-shus) 1. n shoes na binurdahan ng lola ni choy 2. adj. shoes that look normal but really aren't. To illustrate:
   sheila: Choy, bakit mukhang normal ata sapatos mo ngayon?
   choy: (tips foot to display the purple sole of his shoes) Hindi a!

Ehehehe. Peace, Choy!

in search of the next big thing

the nearest we get to heaven today
is in seeing a distant osprey
lift its wings, prepare for passage
bear all the weight of our imagining.
- "flight" by charmaine cadeau,
off the Toronto subway in spring 2006

Hello, stranger.

It's been a while.

Two months, to be exact, since I last wrote an entry. Four months since I last felt normal. It's strange, really, how a few months ago, time seemed to be on fast forward. So much life, so little time.

Now, there is only time.