08 November 2005
04 November 2005
lost
What the HELL am I doing with my life?!?
Sigh.
I know I promised not to rant in my blog, but I just had to write this one down. I wish I could buy one of those lightbulbs they have in cartoons, where all your questions and worries are resolved with a single ding! and a bright lightbulb hovering over your head.
Looking at the bright side, I cannot be thankful enough for all the people I have in my life right now. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for being patient with me. Sometimes, I think I'm so lucky I should just be banished to hell for never being satisfied with what I have.
I know that whatever happens everything's going to be alright.
Sigh.
I know I promised not to rant in my blog, but I just had to write this one down. I wish I could buy one of those lightbulbs they have in cartoons, where all your questions and worries are resolved with a single ding! and a bright lightbulb hovering over your head.
Looking at the bright side, I cannot be thankful enough for all the people I have in my life right now. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for being patient with me. Sometimes, I think I'm so lucky I should just be banished to hell for never being satisfied with what I have.
I know that whatever happens everything's going to be alright.
30 October 2005
c'est la vie
"It's hard to let go, isn't it?
That's life. What can I tell you?"
- Bill Parrish in Meet Joe Black
That's life. What can I tell you?"
- Bill Parrish in Meet Joe Black
Ah. Life.
One week later and I am lost as ever. It's true what they say. When it comes to the weightiest decisions, you should always take your sweet time. Because you may just be having a fit of temporary insanity. Or, in my case, a month of insanity. I'm just not sure how much more agonizing I can take.
My horoscope says that when it's easy, it's right. Does that mean I'm making a big mistake? Aren't the most important decisions the hardest?
I guess I'll just have to wait and see. I read somewhere that there are two types of prayers. One, where you pray to God and tell him what you want. Except God doesn't always do what you want because he has other plans for you, leaving you with the doubt that your prayers have gone unanswered. Then there is that second type of prayer, where you submit to God's will and allow yourself to be. Thy will be done. I pray when the time comes, everything will just fall into place.
This, too, shall pass. That's life.
One week later and I am lost as ever. It's true what they say. When it comes to the weightiest decisions, you should always take your sweet time. Because you may just be having a fit of temporary insanity. Or, in my case, a month of insanity. I'm just not sure how much more agonizing I can take.
My horoscope says that when it's easy, it's right. Does that mean I'm making a big mistake? Aren't the most important decisions the hardest?
I guess I'll just have to wait and see. I read somewhere that there are two types of prayers. One, where you pray to God and tell him what you want. Except God doesn't always do what you want because he has other plans for you, leaving you with the doubt that your prayers have gone unanswered. Then there is that second type of prayer, where you submit to God's will and allow yourself to be. Thy will be done. I pray when the time comes, everything will just fall into place.
This, too, shall pass. That's life.
25 October 2005
perchance
2am & im still awake writing this song
if I get it all down on paper,
it's no longer inside of me
threatening the life it belongs to...
-Breathe (2 AM), Anna Nalick
if I get it all down on paper,
it's no longer inside of me
threatening the life it belongs to...
-Breathe (2 AM), Anna Nalick
It's funny how a chance encounter with a stranger can turn your life upside down.
One moment, you're ambling along in your own existence, then... WHAM! Life hits you with a baseball bat in the form of a complete stranger. And suddenly, as if recovering from a bad case of amnesia, you remember.
You remember a little girl who had dreams larger than life and the courage to pursue them. A little girl who believed hard enough to reach out and touch the stars. A little girl who sparkled with all the magic life held, and treasured it with the fragility of knowing that dreams, once lost, can never be found again.
But the little girl is gone, and you realize you have wasted a quarter of your life on things that no longer seem to matter. And that stranger beside you is a reminder of who you could have been; of what life could have been if you had held on a little bit more.
For the longest time you have been wandering aimlessly on the plateau of forgotten dreams. Now your future is unfolding before you, dazzling in its simplicity. As that stranger smiles at you, you thank the heavens for sending you the angel you had long been asking for.
It's time.
One moment, you're ambling along in your own existence, then... WHAM! Life hits you with a baseball bat in the form of a complete stranger. And suddenly, as if recovering from a bad case of amnesia, you remember.
You remember a little girl who had dreams larger than life and the courage to pursue them. A little girl who believed hard enough to reach out and touch the stars. A little girl who sparkled with all the magic life held, and treasured it with the fragility of knowing that dreams, once lost, can never be found again.
But the little girl is gone, and you realize you have wasted a quarter of your life on things that no longer seem to matter. And that stranger beside you is a reminder of who you could have been; of what life could have been if you had held on a little bit more.
For the longest time you have been wandering aimlessly on the plateau of forgotten dreams. Now your future is unfolding before you, dazzling in its simplicity. As that stranger smiles at you, you thank the heavens for sending you the angel you had long been asking for.
It's time.
14 October 2005
bright lights, big city
This city needs no introduction, so just sing with me now...
tat-tat-tararat.. tat-tat-tararat...
start spreading the news
i'm leaving today
i want to be a part of it
New York, New York...
these vagabond shoes
are longing to stray
and make a brand new start of it
New York, New York...
i want to wake up in the city that never sleeps
to find I'm king of the hill, top of the heap
these little town blues
are melting away
i'll make a brand new start of it
in old New York
if I can make it there
i'll make it anywhere
it's up to you,
New York, New York!
07 October 2005
the city by the bay
A white blanket of fog chills the air as I gaze out the car's windows. Postcard-pretty houses line the streets, shaded by trees the color of autumn. As the wind blows, I can almost hear these houses whispering to me, each with its own tales of a bygone era.
Cable cars toil up and down the steep hillsides, bells clanging. In the distance, the Pacific Ocean shimmers, bringing stories of heartbreak and sailors shipping out to sea. The Golden Gate Bridge and the Bay Bridge frame the peninsula, standing guard as the years pass by.
Wandering the streets of San Francisco feels like a walk back in time, to a genteel existence where towns were small but life was grand.
People often talk about how places had souls. I never understood what they meant.
Until now.
Cable cars toil up and down the steep hillsides, bells clanging. In the distance, the Pacific Ocean shimmers, bringing stories of heartbreak and sailors shipping out to sea. The Golden Gate Bridge and the Bay Bridge frame the peninsula, standing guard as the years pass by.
Wandering the streets of San Francisco feels like a walk back in time, to a genteel existence where towns were small but life was grand.
People often talk about how places had souls. I never understood what they meant.
Until now.
the san francisco checklist
1. Go house-hunting. The Victorian houses are so pretty, they almost don't look real. It’s amazing to think that most of these houses are a century old!
2. Get a 360-degree view of San Francisco atop the Twin Peaks. From here you’ll see a breathtaking view of the San Francisco Bay and the Pacific Ocean.
3. Take a whiff of the air in the Ghirardeli Chocolate Factory. Here, the air is literally sweet. Indulge in the sinfully delicious chocolates and ice creams (my personal favorite are the mint chocolates), or, if you're tight on a budget just try the caramel-filled samples in the chocolate shop.
4. Act all touristy and go to the Fisherman’s Wharf... of couse, use the most tourist-y way to get there: cable cars! Catch the steepest line, Powell-Mason, on the turnaround along Powell and Market, then head off for some tacky tourist action on the piers. (Think rows and rows of souvenir shops, canned music, and wildly colorful displays.) Hidden gem: Just a bit off the wharf is a beach with an amazing view of the Golden Gate Bridge.
2. Get a 360-degree view of San Francisco atop the Twin Peaks. From here you’ll see a breathtaking view of the San Francisco Bay and the Pacific Ocean.
3. Take a whiff of the air in the Ghirardeli Chocolate Factory. Here, the air is literally sweet. Indulge in the sinfully delicious chocolates and ice creams (my personal favorite are the mint chocolates), or, if you're tight on a budget just try the caramel-filled samples in the chocolate shop.
4. Act all touristy and go to the Fisherman’s Wharf... of couse, use the most tourist-y way to get there: cable cars! Catch the steepest line, Powell-Mason, on the turnaround along Powell and Market, then head off for some tacky tourist action on the piers. (Think rows and rows of souvenir shops, canned music, and wildly colorful displays.) Hidden gem: Just a bit off the wharf is a beach with an amazing view of the Golden Gate Bridge.
5. Escape to The Rock. Just a short ferry ride away is the infamous Alcatraz, where you can relive the horrors of prison life. Ironically, the view of San Francisco from Alcatraz is one of the most magnificent ones.
6. Cross the Golden Gate Bridge. Enough said.
7. Channel your inner European in Sausalito. Across the Golden Gate Bridge is Marin County, where you can drive off into the sunset until you reach Sausalito, a quaint little town with a Sorrento vibe. Enjoy some gelato as you window shop in the chic little shops and admire the uber-expensive houseboats on the piers.
8. Stand in awe under the giant redwood trees in Muir Woods. Quoting Robert Frost, "the woods are lovely, dark, and deep." Walk in the shade of thousand-year-old redwoods that tower to stunning heights, and watch as autumn leaves drift slowly down to the ground.
6. Cross the Golden Gate Bridge. Enough said.
7. Channel your inner European in Sausalito. Across the Golden Gate Bridge is Marin County, where you can drive off into the sunset until you reach Sausalito, a quaint little town with a Sorrento vibe. Enjoy some gelato as you window shop in the chic little shops and admire the uber-expensive houseboats on the piers.
8. Stand in awe under the giant redwood trees in Muir Woods. Quoting Robert Frost, "the woods are lovely, dark, and deep." Walk in the shade of thousand-year-old redwoods that tower to stunning heights, and watch as autumn leaves drift slowly down to the ground.
greetings from a sweetie cow
Happy Birthday, Euge!
It was almost two years ago, when I discovered that he could "figure-ski", that I fell for Eugene. Actually, I didn't fall -- more like I crashed through the fence, tumbled down the hill, and plowed through the snow. Bwahaha. Since that day I professed my undying attraction to him, Eugene has been the object of my... erm, harassment. I hope your birthday was fun, even if I wasn't there to harrass you, Sweetie Pao! Mooo-wah!
P.S. Doesn't he look like such a Sweetie Pao in this picture? :P
P.S. Doesn't he look like such a Sweetie Pao in this picture? :P
26 September 2005
on to the next chapter
Since I won't be here to give Carla a proper send-off before she flies off to Canada, let me do it by way of this blog.
Good luck, Carla! Although we got off on a somewhat rocky start, I'm thankful that we were able to move past that and get to know each other better. You're one of the most thoughtful, vibrant people I know. Here's to all the happiness in the next chapter of your life -- you deserve it. Cheers to you, Jay-Ar, and Sophia! c",) Mark G. will surely miss one-half of his Silly Girls! (On a side note, shyeeeet, do you realize Euge made us pose like this in front of all our customers?!?!? Haha, nagpauto naman tayo.)
intramuros: the walled city
For someone who goes to even the lamest tourist spots when abroad, I have never really explored Intramuros. So, when my Toronto colleagues visited us, I finally got the perfect opportunity to do so.
We took a walking tour called If These Walls Could Talk, which I had discovered while blog-hopping. Carlos Celdran, our tour guide, was quite a sight. He took us around the city within walls like the Pied Piper of Intramuros, clad in a barong and playing songs reminiscent of the historic period on a small radio. A messenger bag filled with pictures and whatnots hung on one shoulder, with a speaker wrapped around his waist and a microphone taped to his face. But even more interesting were the stories he recounted and the animated way with which he told them.
The tour started at Fort Santiago, where we heard about a prehistoric Manila and how Spain conquered it; learned about how Jose Rizal was the 'it' guy, even if he was actually just as tall (or rather, as short) as President GMA, and saw the spinal column of Jose Rizal with a bullet lodged in it. Next was a calesa ride around Intramuros, which took us to the 400-year old San Agustin church and convent. Here we looked for turtles in a pond, visited tombs, and learned more about the Spanish, Japanese, & American colonization. Lest you be discouraged about having to hear about Philippine history again, I tell you -- this was not boring at all. Carlos was such an excellent storyteller that a group of priests doing the rounds in Father Blanco's Garden decided to stop and watch him, cheefully waving to us as Carlos announced "The Church was our enemy!" Haha. History lesson done, we then traipsed over to Casa Manila to take a peek into the extravagant lifestyles of the Filipino elite of the era. They threw their poop out on the streets. Nice.
We took a walking tour called If These Walls Could Talk, which I had discovered while blog-hopping. Carlos Celdran, our tour guide, was quite a sight. He took us around the city within walls like the Pied Piper of Intramuros, clad in a barong and playing songs reminiscent of the historic period on a small radio. A messenger bag filled with pictures and whatnots hung on one shoulder, with a speaker wrapped around his waist and a microphone taped to his face. But even more interesting were the stories he recounted and the animated way with which he told them.The tour started at Fort Santiago, where we heard about a prehistoric Manila and how Spain conquered it; learned about how Jose Rizal was the 'it' guy, even if he was actually just as tall (or rather, as short) as President GMA, and saw the spinal column of Jose Rizal with a bullet lodged in it. Next was a calesa ride around Intramuros, which took us to the 400-year old San Agustin church and convent. Here we looked for turtles in a pond, visited tombs, and learned more about the Spanish, Japanese, & American colonization. Lest you be discouraged about having to hear about Philippine history again, I tell you -- this was not boring at all. Carlos was such an excellent storyteller that a group of priests doing the rounds in Father Blanco's Garden decided to stop and watch him, cheefully waving to us as Carlos announced "The Church was our enemy!" Haha. History lesson done, we then traipsed over to Casa Manila to take a peek into the extravagant lifestyles of the Filipino elite of the era. They threw their poop out on the streets. Nice.
Owen, me, Rose, and Michael at Father Blanco's Garden.
Binondo Church. This wasn't part of the tour, but Sweetie Pao, being a
Chinese mestizo (bwahaha!), kindly offered to tour us around Chinatown.
Busy, busy Chinatown. That's Sweetie Pao, Owen, and Michael
in the middle of the street.
21 September 2005
there's no reason to complain
I am exhausted, for all the wrong reasons.
The night bore a sadness that floated heavily in the air. Perhaps it was the rain that patterred on the windows of my car or faint glow of the lamps in the hazy darkness of rain. The road was filled with cars, people on their way to the rest of their lives.
And then a child, not more than six years of age, started tapping on my window, holding out a bunch of sampaguitas. He was drenched, his bare feet covered with mud. "Sige na po, ate, pangkain ko lang po."
I didn't want any sampaguitas, so I just gave him a twenty peso bill I found crumpled up in my purse.
"Salamat ate."
I had never heard such a heartfelt thanks as the one that came from that child... for a twenty-peso bill that would normally have gone to something useless like toll or parking.
Suddenly, I felt like crying.
Here I was on a way to a dinner, where I would indulge gluttonously in a buffet when I was not even hungry. Here I was complaining that my work was messing up my schedule, when this child had to sell sampaguitas in the night to get his next meal. Here I was complaining that I did not get enough sleep, when this child probably did not even have a proper bed to sleep on.
I am angry, because I was lucky and this child was not. My life and my future has been handed to me on a silver platter. Sometimes I complain about not having enough, when so many people could have a better life if only they had even one fourth of what I have been blessed with.
I am angry, because the world is unfair, and I am part of it. Because much has been given to me, and I deserve none of it.
The night bore a sadness that floated heavily in the air. Perhaps it was the rain that patterred on the windows of my car or faint glow of the lamps in the hazy darkness of rain. The road was filled with cars, people on their way to the rest of their lives.
And then a child, not more than six years of age, started tapping on my window, holding out a bunch of sampaguitas. He was drenched, his bare feet covered with mud. "Sige na po, ate, pangkain ko lang po."
I didn't want any sampaguitas, so I just gave him a twenty peso bill I found crumpled up in my purse.
"Salamat ate."
I had never heard such a heartfelt thanks as the one that came from that child... for a twenty-peso bill that would normally have gone to something useless like toll or parking.
Suddenly, I felt like crying.
Here I was on a way to a dinner, where I would indulge gluttonously in a buffet when I was not even hungry. Here I was complaining that my work was messing up my schedule, when this child had to sell sampaguitas in the night to get his next meal. Here I was complaining that I did not get enough sleep, when this child probably did not even have a proper bed to sleep on.
I am angry, because I was lucky and this child was not. My life and my future has been handed to me on a silver platter. Sometimes I complain about not having enough, when so many people could have a better life if only they had even one fourth of what I have been blessed with.
I am angry, because the world is unfair, and I am part of it. Because much has been given to me, and I deserve none of it.
20 September 2005
second childhood
"Arcade tayo!"
I scrunched up my nose snobbishly. What would a bunch of twenty-somethings do at Timezone? Besides, why would you pay so much for a game you could play at home on your Playstation? (Or your Family Computer (teehee) or whatever you have at home.)
Being the sophisticate I am, I opted to join my friends just for dinner. However, work kept me late in the office and dinner was over by the time I arrived. I found myself wandering through the psychedelic maze of arcade games and other machines, coolly eyeing Timezone with an uninterested air.
And then I couldn't resist anymore.
The pull of air hockey and foosball was too much. A minute later I was jumping up and down and squealing with delight, all traces of poise gone.
Teehee.
I scrunched up my nose snobbishly. What would a bunch of twenty-somethings do at Timezone? Besides, why would you pay so much for a game you could play at home on your Playstation? (Or your Family Computer (teehee) or whatever you have at home.)
Being the sophisticate I am, I opted to join my friends just for dinner. However, work kept me late in the office and dinner was over by the time I arrived. I found myself wandering through the psychedelic maze of arcade games and other machines, coolly eyeing Timezone with an uninterested air.
And then I couldn't resist anymore.
The pull of air hockey and foosball was too much. A minute later I was jumping up and down and squealing with delight, all traces of poise gone.
Teehee.
14 September 2005
enough
I Just Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You
Colin Hay
I drink good coffee every morning
Comes from a place that's far away
And when I'm done I feel like talking
Without you here there is less to say
I don't want you thinking I'm unhappy
What is closer to the truth
That if I lived till I was a hundred and two
I just don't think I'll ever get over you
I'm no longer moved to drink strong whisky
'Cause I shook the hand of time and I knew
That if I lived till I could no longer climb my stairs
I just don't think I'll ever get over you
Your face it dances and it haunts me
Your laughter's still ringing in my ears
I still find pieces of your presence here
Even after all these years
But I don't want you thinking I don't get asked to dinner
'Cause I'm here to say that I sometimes do
Even though I may soon feel the touch of love
I just don't think I'll ever get over you
If I lived till I was a hundred and two
I just don't think I'll ever get over you
Colin Hay
I drink good coffee every morning
Comes from a place that's far away
And when I'm done I feel like talking
Without you here there is less to say
I don't want you thinking I'm unhappy
What is closer to the truth
That if I lived till I was a hundred and two
I just don't think I'll ever get over you
I'm no longer moved to drink strong whisky
'Cause I shook the hand of time and I knew
That if I lived till I could no longer climb my stairs
I just don't think I'll ever get over you
Your face it dances and it haunts me
Your laughter's still ringing in my ears
I still find pieces of your presence here
Even after all these years
But I don't want you thinking I don't get asked to dinner
'Cause I'm here to say that I sometimes do
Even though I may soon feel the touch of love
I just don't think I'll ever get over you
If I lived till I was a hundred and two
I just don't think I'll ever get over you
Love. Passion. Obsession. It's all those things that everyone searches for, but few ever find.
I was lucky enough to find you.
Don't stop to pity me. I don't want you back. I miss you, but I don't want you back. What I really miss is who I was when I was with you. Before you, I was living, but I was never alive.
I'm not over you. If that was what living should feel like, I'll never be over you.
But we've had our moment, and that is enough.
I was lucky enough to find you.
Don't stop to pity me. I don't want you back. I miss you, but I don't want you back. What I really miss is who I was when I was with you. Before you, I was living, but I was never alive.
I'm not over you. If that was what living should feel like, I'll never be over you.
But we've had our moment, and that is enough.
13 September 2005
virgo-ed*
Luis, our Costa Rican colleague, wanted to experience Filipino culture. When Karen said we were going to Intramuros, I had visions of quietly strolling along the cobble-stoned streets under a starlit sky.
Of course, the fact that Karen organized it should have been a warning sign. The rows of girls whipping out their compacts in the washroom gave me an inkling that it wouldn't be just a casual stroll. But when Karen came out of the washroom in costume change #1 (ready to show her, erm... signature dance moves), all my visions of Intramuros quickly popped into thin air.
And what a Filipino culture Luis got.
Of course, the fact that Karen organized it should have been a warning sign. The rows of girls whipping out their compacts in the washroom gave me an inkling that it wouldn't be just a casual stroll. But when Karen came out of the washroom in costume change #1 (ready to show her, erm... signature dance moves), all my visions of Intramuros quickly popped into thin air.
And what a Filipino culture Luis got.
luis, our centerpiece! (hehe, rhyming!)
We ended up somewhere in Malate watching a group of flaming gays called The Raging Divas parading around in spandex, wigs and high heels. Que horror! Don't get me wrong -- I have nothing against gays, but they were scary. Luis started running for the washroom every time one of the divas ventured near him.
After feeling a bit ripped-off for a glass of watered-down Sprite, I did get my Mastercard moment eventually. Comic Lab entrance fee: One hundred pesos. A glass of Sprite: 70 pesos. Watching Drei get Virgo-ed* by one of the Raging Divas: Priceless.
After feeling a bit ripped-off for a glass of watered-down Sprite, I did get my Mastercard moment eventually. Comic Lab entrance fee: One hundred pesos. A glass of Sprite: 70 pesos. Watching Drei get Virgo-ed* by one of the Raging Divas: Priceless.
Oh, and on a sidenote, Luis told me that I actually do look like a Latina. Pout. I don't want to look like a Latina, I want to look like Angelina Jolie!
* virgo (vur-go) 1. n. the sixth sign of the Zodiac in astrology 2. v. past tense of virgin 3. n. what happened to Drei in Comic Lab.
* virgo (vur-go) 1. n. the sixth sign of the Zodiac in astrology 2. v. past tense of virgin 3. n. what happened to Drei in Comic Lab.
03 September 2005
bakit sm foodcourt model si gary?
Because Gary can pose for loooong periods of time.
See Exhibit A:
Ang dami nang nangyari sa background, hindi pa rin gumagalaw si Gary!
Kahit facial expression hindi nag-iba! Bwahaha.
Teehee.
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